


Welcome Baby Leia - A Striking at Shadow Story

by enloeddmedia



Series: Striking at Shadows and Related Stories [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ben sings?, Ben's having a hard time, Childbirth, Childbirth makes the Force a bit wacky, Dyad connection not so fun, Explicit Language, F/M, Father-Daughter Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Motherhood, Parenthood, Pregnancy, Regret, Rey's having a hard time, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23106769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enloeddmedia/pseuds/enloeddmedia
Summary: Ben and Rey Solo have stopped on Chandrila to await the birth of their daughter, Leia. Now they just need a birthing center that's not deathly afraid of a Force sensitive family after their son's disastrous birth twelve years prior. As Ben goes through the throes of childbirth and parenthood, he begins to see his parents in a new light, and misses them terribly when he realizes he needs them more than ever.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo
Series: Striking at Shadows and Related Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656109
Comments: 9
Kudos: 24





	Welcome Baby Leia - A Striking at Shadow Story

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after Striking at Shadows. You don't need to have read the entire story to understand this short, but there are some references that might confuse you if you haven't. 
> 
> Things you need to know for this story [CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR "STRIKING AT SHADOWS"]:  
> When Ben is revived in the world between worlds, time runs differently there so he winds up coming back to this world twelve years later to find he has a son conceived through his own life force entering Rey. Finn has raised this child as his own, and he and Ben agreed they would both be the boy's father with equal standing. Benny had a brief brush with death, but his spirit was immediately transferred to the body of his brother from the world between worlds (named after Qui Gon Jinn) until his actual body could be rebuilt a year later. After the events of Striking with Shadows, Rey and Ben marry when she is four months pregnant with little Leia.

_Year 48ABY, four months after Ben and Rey’s wedding on Naboo._

“Wait,” the registrar said at the birthing center on Chandrila, “is this the same Rey Skywalker from Coruscant?”

Ben and Rey kept pleasant smiles on their faces. Rey said, “My married name is Solo.”

“But you _did_ give birth to a boy named Ben Solo Skywalker on Coruscant, correct?”

Rey smiled even wider. “Yes,” she squeaked.

Ben tried to change the subject. “His name’s been changed to Ben Skywalker Solo. You…might want to make a note of that.”

The registrar sighed. “For the safety of the other families—”

“Please!” Rey gripped the edge of the table. “We need this. Don’t make me give birth to this baby on some desolate planet!”

“There are warnings flashing all over this file—”

“I know! I know…but it will be different this time, I promise.” She looked at Ben. “He’s here, and he’s very strong in the Force, and whatever happens, he can contain it. It won’t be like last time—and might I add, no one actually got hurt.”

“It says here they evacuated the entire building, so I guess that’s why no one got hurt.”

Rey smiled with her teeth clenched. “But the point is no one got hurt, right?”

Ben leaned forward. “I promise, we’ll keep everything contained. Benny’s Force energies are different. Leia’s are smoother, less explosive. Please…” Ben took a breath, pleading with his eyes. “I really want our baby to be born on my homeworld, close to our home, we’re just outside Hanna City. It would mean everything to me to have our daughter born here.”

The registrar sighed and regarded them with crumpled lips. “I’ll put the application through and get back to you with a decision.”

#

Ben walked out of the birthing center with his arm around Rey’s shoulders. At eight and a half months, Leia was sticking out of her mother like BB-8 was tucked up in there, and Rey’s waddle shifted her gait beneath his arm.

Then he felt it, the one thing he dreaded more than anything. First the shaking shoulders, then the sniffle, then the long wail. He pulled Rey into his arms. “Baby, baby-baby-baby, it’s going to be okay. We’ll convince them to let us come here, okay? I’ll do whatever I have to.”

“No one’s ever going to let me have a baby anywhere in the whole galaxy!” Rey sobbed into his shoulder.

He could understand her frustration. If not for the fact that she cried over socks in the wrong place, an empty bowl, and Benny’s smelly shoes, it wouldn’t feel so overwhelming all the time. Finn had warned him about Rey (specifically saying, “Welcome to hell,”) but Ben figured back when she was pregnant with Benny, she was extra emotional because Ben had just died. He had _no_ idea just how bad she would actually get until this bombardment.

“Then we’ll have Leia at home, get some medical droids. Nice beach-house, you can look at the ocean while you—”

“We’ll just kill the neighbors when the Force explodes all over the place!”

“Then we’ll have her on the Redemption, way out in space where no one can get hurt.”

“Then we’ll just blow apart the whole ship and die and I’ll be the worst mother ever!”

“No no no no, baby, everything will be okay.” He rubbed her back, then put her hands to her cheeks. “You want to go get something to eat? You want me to get you a _Mayleyan_ custard?”

Rey sniffled. “Yes.”

“You want to get it on the Beachwalk? Maybe have a little fun after, take your mind off of everything?”

Her face crinkled. “We can’t go without Benny!” She was back to wailing in his chest. “What’s he going to do when the baby comes? He’ll be all alone because we’ll be so busy, it’s not fair!”

Ben held onto her and rolled his eyes, praying she didn’t sense it in the Force. He already had a jar launched at his head last time he did that. “Rey? Rey? Come on now, we can have Finn meet us there with Benny, okay? And he won’t be alone at all, he’ll be just fine. He has Finn and Poe, and Sona and Tarn and Jorn, and they can help take care of Leia, too, so he has us. He’s going to be okay. Everything’s going to be okay.”

She quieted as he rocked her in his arms. “Don’t cry,” he sang, “don’t cry when you’re in my arms. ‘Cause I’m here, I’m here with you in my arms.”

She giggled. “I love that song. I love hearing you sing it. I never imagined all these years you’d have such a beautiful singing voice.”

“It’s all for you, and the baby of course. Anyone else hears me singing, I’ll have to murder them.”

Rey laughed and nuzzled into his shirt. “Can I have my custard now?”

“Of _course_ you can, my beautiful lady. Let’s go get a transport and I’ll call Finn.”

#

Ben watched in awe as Rey scraped at the empty bowl of her second custard. Leia would grow up liking that gummy confection too, and then he’d have to smell it all the time.

“Dad!” Benny said, mouth full of cheesy flatbread. “You want that last piece?”

He sort of did, but Benny was a growing boy, even if the Beachwalk flatbread was uncommonly good. “Go ahead, buddy. It’s yours.”

Benny nearly stuffed the entire thing in his mouth. With the way the two of them were eating, they’d have to bulk up on some credits.

Finn asked, “How’d the birthing center go?”

Ben turned toward Rey in terror, waiting for the floodgates to open once more. Instead, she slid her finger through the remnants in her bowl and licked them off. Hm. Maybe if he kept her constantly supplied with custard, she’d calm down a little.

“We’re still waiting word,” Rey said. “They said they’d put our application through.”

Ben took a hefty swig from his _pana_ juice spritzer. “I told them I could contain any power blast this time around. It doesn’t have to be like last time.”

Benny took another bite and continued to talk with his mouth full. “It wasn’t my fault! I can’t help what came out of me when I was born.”

Finn patted his arm. “No one’s blaming you, we just…had no idea what we were in for.”

“Twenty-five hours of labor!” Rey said.

Benny rolled his eyes. “Oh not again.”

Finn took a sip of his drink. “Just saying you were a little distressed, that’s all. That’s why the Force got thrown around all over the place.”

Rey grinned. “Remember when you tried to contain it?”

Finn laughed. “Oh that was a mistake. I got flattened against the wall, remember?”

“And they had to call another set of nurses for you!”

“But then another contraction later, they all got blown out of the room, me included!”

Ben grinned as he listened to their story. He’d heard it before, but it never changed how he felt—left out.

That was his son’s birth, and he missed it. Strong Ben Skywalker Solo, thundering into the world for the first time. They needed someone powerful enough to contain that show of Force. They had needed Ben.

And he wasn’t there.

Not for the birth, the feedings, burpings, or just rocking his boy to sleep. He’d missed out on everything, and that still stung.

At least Benny had been warming up to him in the past year. Maybe one day they’d have a bond like the boy and Finn had. Ben wanted that more than anything. He and Benny were so much alike it was scary, and to see him rush to Finn first for most things still gnawed at him.

No one’s fault. Just circumstance.

This time he would be there, get it right from the beginning. Leia would get 100% of her daddy, and he’d catch whatever she threw at him in the delivery room.

They strolled the Beachwalk after dinner, played a few prize games until the workers got suspicious the Force was getting involved, won Benny a plush lightsaber and Leia a fluffy purple Wookiee. They dug into a basket of sweet, fluffy, fried poppettes and chased that down with fizzy citrus drinks. Ben beat Finn at a TIE fighter simulator game and then let Benny win the next round.

He carried Rey on the Force when her feet had enough, and they ended the night watching the fireworks display over the Silver Sea.

Ben smiled as the wind poured off the ocean, cool and misty, heavy with the scent of seaweed and clamshell. It was good to be back on Chandrila, back home.

Now all they needed was somewhere to birth their baby.

#

“Your application has been approved,” the registrar said.

Ben gripped a delighted Rey’s hand.

“However—”

Ben hated howevers.

“—we have a few requirements.” She pointed to Ben. “We need a demonstration from you that you’re capable of handling the Force at the levels recorded in Coruscant at your son’s birth.”

“That won’t be a problem.”

“Also, we will require a thirty-thousand credit deposit, fully refunded if no damage occurs to the building.”

The air disappeared.

“We can’t afford that!” Rey said.

“Consider a loan or perhaps speak to a relative.”

“We don’t _have_ any!”

The registrar folded her hands. “That’s the best we can offer, considering your history.”

Rey’s eyes welled up. “It’s not our fault. Our baby was just strong in the Force, it wasn’t any of our faults.”

“I understand that, I do. But we have to protect our building and other birthing mothers.”

There went the shoulders, then the sniffling. _Now they went and set her off!_ Ben wrapped his arms around a sobbing Rey and tried his best not to glare at the registrar.

#

Ben pulled the blanket up over Rey’s rounded belly and up to her neck. “Just rest, okay? I’ll figure this all out for us. We’ll have our baby there, I promise.”

Rey sniffled. “Why’s it so hard? Why is everything just so hard? I just want to have my baby somewhere safe. Is that so much to ask?”

“Of course not.” He knelt on the floor and brushed the hairs from her face. “I’m going to find a way, I don’t care how. Even if we have to have her right here with a team of doctors and medical droids, I’ll make it happen. You just rest and take care of our little girl.” He brushed his fingertips across her cheek. “No more worries.”

Rey smiled. “Okay.” She closed her eyes. “I love you, Ben.”

“Love you, too, Rey.”

Ben sat across from the credit loan officer, trying to keep his calmest, kindest face. He had heard he went from looking sweet to terrifying in the flicker of an eyebrow and was really trying to avoid the latter.

“So this loan is for a deposit for a birthing center?”

Ben nodded. “Yes.”

“Is that common? My wife and I have three children and never had to pay a deposit.”

Ben swiped at his comm bracelet and projected the image. “Right there. Official request.”

The credit officer squinted. “Huh. So why in particular are they requiring it of you and your wife?”

Ben rubbed his fingertips against his pants. “We had a boy strong in the Force—to be clear, I was unable to attend his birth so the situation won’t repeat itself—and let’s just say…his birth was a bit strong.”

The officer squinted. “Wait, twelve years ago? That Coruscant kid?”

Ben’s heart sunk. “Yeah…”

“Oh…”

 _Oh indeed._ “ _But_ like I said, I wasn’t there, and I’m strong enough to contain anything that happens this time, so—” He laughed. “—the deposit will surely be refunded and paid back quickly.”

The officer stared at him. “Uh huh…”

Ben sighed. This wasn’t going well, and he was on the fourth credit company.

“Do you have any collateral?”

Ben nodded. “My ship, the Redemption. Vester Class 12-8 Quad Hyperdrive.”

The officer nodded. “Not bad. Why don’t we begin by accessing your account and data, see what you have and what you will need.”

This was better than he got at the other places. “Yeah, sure.” Ben placed his thumb against the reader and sat while a flash scanned across his eye.

“Let’s see, Ben Organa Solo—it says you’re dead.”

Ben pressed his lips together. “Rumors of my…demise turned out to be false, let’s just say.”

“Well, scan says you are who you are, let’s see if we can unlock this account and see what we’re looking at.” A few moments passed. “Ah, let’s see, opened a few days after you were born, no activity from 28ABY until it was locked due to death as of 35ABY, and well, you’re clearly here now—oh.”

Ben lifted his brow. “What?”

“Your mother passed the same year I see.”

Ben sucked in his lips. “Yeah.”

“Well, it seems her account passed to you as per her instructions. Sir, you have 200,584 credits available in your account.”

Ben’s brain shut down for a moment. He blinked. “What?”

“All of her accounts passed into yours, which leaves you with 200,584 credits. I don’t think you’re going to need that loan.”

If only the other four credit agencies had gone as far as this guy did and _told_ him that from the beginning. Ben’s draped jaw of shock curved into an enormous smile, ending in laughter.

_You saved the day yet again, Mom._

#

One thing Ben was good at was keeping an externally stony face while his emotions raged inside. He wasn’t raging this time, but he tried not to let his sheer panic show.

Leia was coming fast and hard. He held Rey by the hands while also keeping her steady on the Force as she stepped into the tub at the birthing center, her contractions having gone from light, random twinges to consistent with no mercy.

Rey settled in, keeping to her breaths, hairs stuck to her sweaty face. She sunk to her breasts, and Ben dried her face with a soft cloth.

“Little better?” he asked.

She nodded and said, “Yeah,” in a manner so unlike her. They had told him of the altered birthing state, but hearing Rey’s off-cadence speech turned his panic dials up even further.

She leaned her head against the side of the tub, and he took her hands. She breathed through the next contraction while humming.

A pink-skinned woman with spots on long, floppy ears smiled as she looked everything over. “You two are doing great. Someone paid attention in my classes.”

Ben looked up at her and smiled. Rey had wanted a birthing coach this time, regretting not having one with Benny, wondering if it would have made him less distressed if she had. So far, so good. No bursts of Force, things were rather calm.

A few more regular contractions, breathing, wonderful. Rey was doing such an excellent job. This wasn’t so bad. Ben didn’t know what Finn was talking about.

At the next contraction, Rey gripped the sides of the tub. Her breathing crept into cries that grew in intensity.

“The big ones are coming now,” the coach said in her usual soft, calm manner as if this was the norm.

Know what wasn’t?

The walls trembled, the water in the tub vibrating in concentric rings. Things were about to get real.

“You’re doing great!” the coach said to Rey.

A period of breathing, then the cries, louder, louder.

“B-breathe!” Ben said next to Rey’s ear, but this already felt out of hand. Her cries turned into a scream, and he reached out with the Force just in time to catch the blast of energy that shot out of her. She whimpered as the contraction tapered down while he opened himself to drain the blast.

Ben looked at the coach. “Do they get worse than this?”

“They can. This is where it gets more intense.”

“Oh boy…”

On the next contraction, Ben prepared himself in advance, casting a shield around Rey. Her cries picked up in intensity and pitch, and when she screamed, lightning blasted out of her in every direction. The coach jumped back against the wall while Ben clenched his teeth, holding the flickering energy at bay.

How the hell did they have Benny without him?

Rey’s cries calmed, and Ben drew down her energy once more. “Bring it back in,” he said softly, “bring it back in now, Rey. That’s it. You’re doing great.” He tipped his head toward the coach. “Do the contractions get worse than _that_ one?”

The coach forced a smile and backed away.

Ben sighed. “Fuck me…”

“That’s what got me in this mess!” Ray spat between her teeth.

Ben resolved to choose his wording more wisely before she flung him against the wall. He mopped at Rey’s sweat once more. “Is the water helping any? You seem so miserable.”

“Uh huh. Better than with Benny. We tried the tub at first, but we destroyed it in three contractions.”

_Holy shit!_

“And then I had to go without it and it was so haaaaaaAAARRR!”

Ben caught another blast of lighting and wondered how they didn’t set the entire building on fire in Coruscant. After that contraction, she sobbed softly. He hated seeing her like this, in so much agony and nothing he could do about it. She didn’t want any of the pain reduction treatments, concerned about the side effects. Personally, he thought it was worth the risk, but he wasn’t the one trying to push a human out of himself and was glad for it.

But it just tore at him to see her suffering. He reached into the tub and gripped her hands. “I want to try something. Next contraction, I’m going to see if I can do something with our dyad connection.”

She nodded, breathing into another round. He had to be ready in case she blasted out again, but this was worth a shot. He opened himself to her, meeting her in perfect oneness. He could feel little Leia in their combined self, determined little fireball ready to get the heck out of there and get on with life, waiting for Mom’s body to hurry up and get out of her way.

Then he felt a twinge in his gut. Another, stronger. Then something stretched his inner workings to the snapping point. It felt like someone was trying to shatter his pelvic bones by slowly pushing an iron ball through them, savoring every splintering crack. He doubled over, groaning, thinking he’d rather have gotten kicked in the nuts than felt this horror.

Meanwhile, in the tub. “Ohhhh, oh that’s so much better…that one wasn’t bad at all.”

Ben forced himself up on weak knees as the pain calmed, thinking he might vomit. He tried to breathe his life back into himself.

Rey turned her head toward him. “Ben, why are you all red? Are you okay?”

He gasped for air. “Think I…took that all…on myself.”

“No, it still hurt, maybe like by half.”

“THAT WAS HALF?!” He felt it again. “Oh no. No no no, I’m not sure I can do this again.” He tried to stand when her hand shot into his hair. She yanked his head back down toward her, nearly ripped it off his neck in the process. “AAOWW!”

Rey was grinning. “Oh no. You’re not going anywhere.” She grabbed his wrist, and he knew there was no escape.

Here came the next round.

He growled against clenched teeth while she breathed through the sensation of bones bursting out of a pelvis. This time he had to catch his own blast of Force, drawing it back in before it went far outside his body.

The coach inched back into the room. “You’re both doing great! Breathe, remember to breathe through the pain, go right to its center and breathe through it—”

“OH YOU TRY THIS!” Ben shouted.

When Rey reached pushing stage, Ben was pretty sure he was ready to die again. His hair clung to his head and face, and even though he was freed of the worst of the contraction sensations, he was sure he’d never get over that feeling for the rest of his life.

And Rey’s labor had only been two hours. How did she endure this for twenty five PLUS blasting Force all over the place? And then had the guts to do this again?

“Here comes the head!” the coach said. “Come look, proud Papa.”

“No, I don’t—”

The coach yanked his arm and pointed into the water. He nodded and tried to breathe through the intense lightheadedness that came over him. That space on Rey’s body was one he had enjoyed many times, but this new visual he could have done without. He staggered back behind Rey, took her hands once more, and tried to keep his vision in place.

“Another big push, Mama!” the midwife said.

Rey squeezed Ben’s hands (that part he didn’t mind, it was nothing compared to touching upon her labor pains) and tensed, growling into a roar.

“One more, Mama!”

Rey heaved breath after breath, and Ben couldn’t have been more proud of her.

“You got this, Rey. One more time for our little girl.”

Rey nodded and squeezed his hands again, roaring with every inch of herself. Then breaths of triumph as the midwife reached down into the water. Rey extended her arms, and the midwife helped little Leia to her chest.

“My baby!” Rey breathed. “Oh my baby!”

Ben’s world softened into sweet perfection. Whatever he endured for Rey’s sake fell away at the sight of his beautiful little daughter. The midwife helped clean her and suctioned her mouth before that little mouth cried out for the first time.

Ben fell in love for the fourth time—first Rey, then seeing Benny for the first time, then Qui Gon. But this time he was there from the beginning, at the moment his little girl took her first breaths.

He kissed Rey while the squawking little cries rang beneath him. No word could describe his absolute joy.

#

“Here you go, proud Papa.”

Ben trembled as he took the wrapped bundle from the midwife. His tiny little girl could fit in one hand, but he cradled her in his arms. Little brown eyes blinked open, taking in the world around her.

As their eyes met, he could feel her on the Force, a connection like no other. In that moment, he knew he’d live and die for this tiny little person and not question any of it.

“Welcome to the world, little Leia. I’m your Daddy, and I’m going to try really hard not to fuck that up.”

“Ben!” Rey laughed from the bed where the midwife tended to her post-birth needs.

He grinned at her, then turned his attention to the bundle. “You’re going to have to get used to my foul mouth now, baby girl, but I’ll try my best to keep it tame for you. I’ll do my best in everything for you.”

He carefully edged himself into a chair, still staring at that perfect face. “Your name is a very strong name. It was the name of your grandmother who was a very strong woman…who deserved a lot better than she got in life…especially from me… _but_ I’m going to make it up to her by being the best daddy in the whole galaxy to you, okay?”

Little eyes wandered. Her lips squished together. Tiny blinks.

He took in those little features: the soft wisps of hair that made her eyebrows, the tiniest of lashes, round little nose, precious pink lips and round little cheeks. A little fluff of dark hair rest upon her head.

Tears stung his eyes as he looked up at the ceiling. “Mom? Dad? Look at this. Look at this perfect little girl right here. My baby girl, your granddaughter.”

#

Ben thought he remembered sleep, but it could have been this odd fleeting thing he once had a hundred years ago. His body remained at perpetual high alert, springing awake at any sound his daughter made. It didn’t help that Leia refused to sleep unless next to a warm body, so her little self, separated by a small bumper, nested between him and Rey. The situation made him terrified one of them would roll onto her, so he never slept for long.

At her cries he was at the ready, shifting her to Rey’s breast in the middle of the night for a feeding. He wasn’t even sure Rey woke up, which was exactly the plan. It was only a brief time in the overall expanse of his life; he’d live with a little lack of sleep.

Maybe.

Days were a little easier. With lots of hands in the house that never minded holding a baby (except Poe who had to be forced into it like he would catch a virus that would make him procreate,) naps could be had in abundance. But Ben wanted to be there for all of it, to give Leia what he failed to give to Benny, to make up for duties he missed the first time around.

Besides which, at least when it came to Finn, Ben had trouble curbing his jealousy. Every time Finn held Leia, even in the most innocent of gestures, Ben couldn’t help digging his fingertips into any hard surface, even if it was his palm or leg. He hated feeling that way. The guy was nothing but giving and respectful and had endured all of this with Rey for a child that wasn’t even biologically his. But the wedge that existed between Ben and Benny still hurt even long after Ben accepted Finn for everything he was and did for the kid.

He wouldn’t allow that to happen with Leia.

But as the weeks grew on, real fatigue took hold. One morning, Ben told Rey to sleep in while the other adults had gone off for the day. Benny was around but spent most of the morning training on the beach. It was just Ben and Leia.

After a few diaper changes and complete disinterest in a rattle, Ben held his daughter against his chest, rocking her to sleep. As that little face nuzzled and grunted, he took a moment to realize he was exactly where he wanted to be. Ever since he learned he had a son, this was where he imagined himself—warm little body, tiny breaths and sounds, squirmy little legs, right there in his arms. He wondered if his father held him like this too, held him for hours on end, trying to get him to sleep.

And how did Ben repay him?

Ben tried to shift himself out of that pang of remorse. It was too easy lately, as fatherhood took hold, to put himself in the place of his parents and see his actions through their eyes. The guilt was endless.

He kissed Leia’s downy head. “Please don’t kill your daddy when you grow up, huh? One of us has got to make that right.”

Leia grunted and mouthed at his shirt. He hoped that meant, “I wouldn’t ever do that, daddy,” but it probably just meant she was looking for a boob.

After a few more rocks she settled down, little body breathing deeply, eyes closed. Kid had the right idea.

Ben woke and looked down at himself. Leia was gone.

He sprung up in the rocking chair, sheer panic gripping his heart. He searched the floor but didn’t find her anywhere. _Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck! How am I going to tell Rey I fell asleep and lost our baby?!_

“Dad, are you out of your mind?”

Ben whipped in Benny’s direction as the boy headed into the room. In his arms was Leia. Ben let out a hundred year breath in relief and plopped back onto the chair. “You gave me a fucking heart attack.”

“Dad, you weren’t even holding her anymore. Your arms were just dangling. She could have fallen.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

Benny shrugged. “You’re tired a lot, and I wasn’t doing anything, anyway.”

Ben smiled. “You’re a good big brother. Thanks for stepping up, Benny.”

The boy’s shoulders lifted again. “She’s my baby sister.”

Ben’s heart swelled with pride. “And she’s very lucky to have a great big brother like you. You want me to take her now?”

“You promise you’ll stay up?”

 _Chided by my own kid…_ “Yeah, promise.”

Benny stood and held out the squirming bundle. “Think she’s getting fussy, anyway.”

“Yeah, she needs her mommy by now.”

When Ben took Leia, Benny turned to stare out the window. Ben leaned in. “You okay, son?” Benny just nodded. Ben put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “I know you need her, too. It’s not forever, just hard on us right now.”

“I know.”

“We both love you and want to be with you just as much as her, okay?”

“I know.”

Ben sighed. Just as Rey worried, Benny was feeling the sting of being pushed aside.

#

“JUST DON’T EVEN BOTHER!” Rey shoved Ben out of the room on the Force and slammed the door shut. “Every single one of you men turn into complete idiots when a baby is born!”

Ben stood outside the bedroom door, lips pursed, feeling equal anger and guilt. Lately nothing he did was right, but this apparently was his greatest backwards achievement.

He stormed downstairs and plopped into a chair at the kitchen table, sour and irritable. Finn took a slow, juicy bite out of a _jamay_ fruit. “Ah, the old ‘All Men are Idiots’ speech.”

Ben muttered, “Guess that’s nothing new?”

Poe knocked back a drink. “Hell, even I was an idiot in those early days and I wasn’t even the kid’s father.”

Finn leaned an elbow on the table. “So what has you in the idiot barrel this time?”

Ben threw his hands up. “Apparently there’s a wrong way to close a diaper.”

Finn groaned and put his hand to his forehead. “How bad?”

Ben sighed. “All over the pajamas, into the sheets. It’s bad.”

Finn cringed. “Wet or worse?”

Ben spread his hands out. “ _Ev-ry-_ thing.”

“Oh man…”

“Dad!” Benny said. “How hard is a diaper?”

It was one thing for your wife to make you feel like an idiot, but his own kid had to chime in too. “We’re not all perfect, son.”

Benny groaned and stomped up the stairs. “I better go help Mom. Someone has to.”

Ben scoffed. “She kicked me out of the bedroom!” He pointed. “She won’t be any nicer to you!”

Finn waved him off. “Let him go. He’s the only one with a Y chromosome she won’t kill right now.”

Ben sighed. “Am I really that stupid?”

Finn shrugged. “According to new moms, we all are. I was a complete moron for the first year, maybe few years, I don’t know. Parenting’s hard on all of us. Lack of sleep, not knowing what to do, frustration, desperation. You go through a day feeling like it’s a warzone and then look at that kid sleeping and you’re convinced it’s all worth it. But it kicks your ass, and you screw up, and then the ladies come and drive it in even deeper.”

Ben nodded. “Well, you survived. Guess I can too.”

“Yeah, and since we’re apparently idiots, we’ll forget all the awful things they said about us in time.”

Ben chuckled then remained still, contemplative. “I’ve fought her in numerous battles. Lightsabers bashing against one another. She cut me open, stabbed me, you name it. But somehow this hurts more, like this fight, just words, is worse than fighting her in combat.”

“Of course it is. That warrior shit comes easy to you. Pleasing women? That’s a whole other set of skills.”

Poe put his feet up on a chair. “I seem to do just fine in that category.”

“That’s _another_ set of skills entirely that winds up _leading_ to the mess up there.”

Ben rubbed his fingertips across the flat surface of the table. How did his parents handle this? He wished he could talk to them now. Even once, as much as he spoke to his mother, she never appeared to him as a Force ghost since Leia was born. He couldn’t have been screwing up that badly as to anger his mother. He’d done far worse in his time.

If only he could undo the past. He needed them, needed their guidance and support, and he was the one that threw their lives away.

_Mom? Dad? I know I have no right to ask this of you, but be with me. Please be with me. I’m not sure I can figure this all out on my own._

#

Ben survived the diaper incident and endured two more though not nearly as bad as the first. Either he was getting less stupid or Rey was resigning herself to his ineptitude. She just about said it point blank.

Finn said the hormones and fatigue, and the general physical strain, made her extra mean in the beginning. Ben hoped that was just it. The sting of her constant barking was weighing him down.

Yet he couldn’t help but love her with all his heart. Sometimes he’d just watch her feed Leia, little baby held up to her bare chest, brown hair swirling around her shoulders. She always seemed to know just what to do, while he fumbled with everything. And when things would get quiet, when Leia would finally nod off, sometimes he’d just sit with Rey in his arms while she held their baby, basking in their oneness, staring into her eyes and loving her a thousand times over. When things got quiet, when the stress calmed, he felt like the love of her life again.

But when things got crazy…

He, who endured Snoke’s torture, commanded troops, led the First Order in war, was now befuddled by the one constant in the history of any species—parenting. It was so much harder than he imagined it would be.

And just when he was about to drop from caring for Leia and Rey all night and day, he’d catch Benny staring out the window, fiddling alone with a puzzle, or out on the beach training without a partner. Or just plain gone, out with Finn who was doing a hell of a job making sure Benny’s needs were addressed while Ben and Rey dealt with the baby.

And rightfully so. Finn was also the boy’s father, endured all of this, licked many of his own wounds (half of which were probably sustained in the birthing center alone.) Ben was glad Benny had someone who could take up the slack. That is, he wanted to be far more glad than he was.

He barely had enough of a relationship with Benny to begin with. Now with Leia around, all his progress was falling to the wayside. The boy probably thought Ben was just as stupid as Rey thought, considering Benny had gone to the rescue on more than a few occasions. Training was non-existent while fatigue was at the forefront. And as Ben thought about it, if he had to calculate how much time he spent with the boy since Leia was born, the numbers would be sickening.

Rey was right when she was crying, afraid they would neglect their son when the baby came. It was happening before his eyes and he was too tired to realize it.

Much as his jealous heart tried to convince him otherwise, he had to let the others take over some Leia duties, let him bond with his son as well as his daughter.

One morning, after setting Finn, Sona, Tarn and Jorn to the task of obeying Rey’s commands, he sought his firstborn. He found the twelve-year-old furiously working at one of his puzzles.

Ben slid into a chair opposite the boy. “Heyyyy there.”

He got a brief smile. “Hi, Dad.”

Ben rubbed his fingertips on the smooth surface of the table. “How you doing?”

Benny shrugged. “Okay.”

“I’m sure it’s…hard, with a new baby in the house. New sister.”

Benny shrugged again. “It’s okay.” He looked up. “You look really tired.”

Ben smiled and nodded. “That I am, but that’s…that’s okay. I wanted this, wanted to be here during this.” Benny was back at his puzzle. “So Dad Finn’s gonna help out your mother a little today, thought maybe you and I can do something together.”

“Like?”

“I don’t know. We can go to Beachwalk. Fly some TIE fighters?”

Benny shrugged. “Eh. Dad’s been taking me there a lot lately. Getting kind of boring.”

Ben looked around the room, trying to gather himself. Yet again Finn had Benny to himself, so much so the kid was tired of Beachwalk. Who got tired of Beachwalk? “Well…maybe there’s something else we can do.”

“Like what?”

Ben searched his memories. “I know a few good playgrounds. Probably a little different now, but I’m sure they’re still good.”

“Meh.”

Meh? Who said meh to playgrounds? “Okayyyy…there are a few good museums—”

“Bored.”

Ben sighed. “Well what you do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll probably just finish this and go play a video game or something.”

Ben was already losing his customer. “Too nice a day out for that.” Ben shrugged. “Let’s just go out, see what we find.”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on, me and you time.”

“Ehhhh.”

Ben sunk. “Look…I’ve been so busy with Leia, and your mom, and we don’t get to spend a lot of time together.” He paused. “Being with Leia makes me think about all that I missed out with you, and, well, it will take a long time to make up for that. I just want to spend some time with you, that’s just me and you, no one—getting in the way or distracting or whatever. Just Ben and Ben.” He leaned forward. “Can we at least try?”

Benny sighed. “Fiiiine.”

Ben tried to smile despite his son’s reluctance. “Good. Get your shoes on. Let’s see what we can find.”

#

“Right here,” Ben said, smiling yet feeling the hefty pangs of nostalgia. He pointed. “I used to head out through those paths in the grass, over a bridge with a clear stream running under it, out into those woods, practice the Force out there where no one could bother me about it.”

“Did it scare your parents?”

Ben inhaled. “Sometimes. Yeah. I was really strong, big temper, and sometimes a little more than destructive. It made them worry.”

Benny snickered. “Kind of sounds like me.”

“Bet your mom kept you in line though.”

Benny tilted his head, considering. “Mom and Dad. Mom was able to contain my power if it got out of hand, and Dad, well, he’s not nearly as strong as her, but he’s good at talking me down. They make a good team.”

Ben tried not to let that punch him in the gut too hard. If only he’d been there from the beginning… He cleared his throat. “My father wasn’t Force sensitive, and my mother? I think she was stronger than she let on, but not like your mother. I scared them, with what I could do. That’s why I had to hide most if it out there.”

“Dad said sometimes my powers get a little scary too.”

Typical Finn. Didn’t Rey once complain about her powers scaring him? “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. He’d tell me Jedi weren’t supposed to act like that, that I had to control myself or else I’d wind up doing bad stuff like you.”

Finn might get a fist in the face when Ben got home. “That so…”

“He said I’d always have to be careful because our powers were the same, yours and mine, that I could always slip at any time so I had to be vigilant.” Benny was silent a moment. Then, “You did a lot bad things in the past, huh?”

Maybe this outing was a mistake. “Yeah. I did.”

Benny looked up at him. “Did you really kill your own father?”

And the blows just kept on coming. “I did.”

“Why?”

Ben shifted, rocked on his heels. “I was being driven mad by the darkness, constantly pulled in either direction. After my uncle tried to kill me, I chose the Dark Side, only I could never extinguish the light, and it just drove me nuts. I thought by killing my past, killing the light inside of me, I could finally prove to the darkness that I was worthy, that I could give myself fully to it. Only that’s not what happened at all. It made everything worse, and my guilt did nothing but tear me apart.” He scraped the ground with his shoe. “Still does. Especially now when I need my parents the most.”

“Guess that’s why Dad doesn’t want me to walk your path.”

Ben headed down the walkway toward the ocean. “Yeah…”

Benny trotted to keep up. “But Mom said you turned to the light, before you died. You turned back to the light, gave up Ky…” He tried clearing his throat. “Gave up being bad, and rushed out to help her defeat my evil great grandfather, even gave your life to save hers, and that’s how I got made.”

Ben nodded. “That’s right.”

“And you came back and you’ve been good since.”

“I try.”

“So even if I’m a lot like you, that doesn’t mean I’m going to wind up on a bad path, right?”

Ben stopped and turned to him. “That’s right. Your circumstances are way different than mine were. You have a lot of support. You’re not and will never be alone like I felt. But regardless, it’s our choices, not our powers, that make us who we are. Your mother has some of the darkest of Dark Side blood in her, but she’s a sweetheart.” Lately he wasn’t so sure, but that wasn’t a conversation to be had with his son. “She made that choice. I made a lot of bad choices, ones you don’t have to make. Ones I won’t let you make.

They continued on in silence. Rey and Finn had explained Ben’s history to Benny long ago. That was one conversation Ben didn’t have to start with his son. Not so for Leia. One day he’d have to tell her that her daddy was once a very bad man, even if now he did good things.

The thought of bringing that up one day made him shiver.

They reached the rocky outcropping over the sea. Ben leaned over and checked the tide. “Perfect, it’s low. We can see if we find anything interesting down there.”

Ben climbed down the rocky trail, Benny in tow keeping up with no problem. “When I was allowed to go out more, I used to come down here, sometimes find _nirins_ crawling around, _tinchis_ in tide pools, little _catar_ crabs, and I’d always come home with a sack of _tor_ clams for dinner.”

At the bottom, Ben pulled off his shoes and pressed his feet into the cold, damp sand. The black, wet stone behind him, covered in spiky moss, teemed with purple, clear crabs. “Benny! Check this out!”

Benny tossed his sandals in his usual haphazard, deathtrap fashion and jumped into the sand. Ben held his hand to the moss and let one critter climb onto it. He held it up to Benny’s face who stared in wide-eyed awe. At least he finally got the kid’s attention.

“ _Trimu_ crabs. They’re not always around. You need just the right air and water temperature before they venture up this high.”

“Do they bite?”

“They have tiny pincers, but if you keep them happy…” He picked a slimy, gray little nub from between a crack in the rocks and held it for the crab who snapped it up. “…they’ll be too busy eating to think about taking a crack at you.”

Benny grinned. “Can I try?”

Ben urged the spindly creature onto Benny’s hand and picked off another _damor_ slug for their visitor. Benny laughed as the googly eyed crab chomped down on the sticky gray squirmer. “This is so cool. It’s so pretty, like glass.”

“We got lucky,” Ben said, scooching the crab back onto his hand. “You usually only get to see these maybe once or twice a year. It was a good day to come out.”

Ben’s little friend didn’t seem to want to go back home, and he had to lift the little guy on the force and set him back.

“Dad?” came Benny’s concerned voice.

Ben turned and looked where his son was pointing. Scattered on the patch of sand in the cove were pale blue, slimy creatures with two paddled legs. Ben sighed. “ _Tonags_. Sometimes if the tide goes out too fast, they get stuck on shore and can’t get back into the water.”

“We have to help them!”

Ben squinted. “Tide’s been out almost a half hour. I don’t know if any would have survived by now—”

“We have to try!” Benny began snatching up the armless frogs.

Ben nodded, giving the kid credit for hope. He picked up one. It was warm, skin drying. There was no way this one survived. He looked over to Benny whose arm was full of them. No sense in letting the kid think it was futile. Ben opened his senses and lifted as many as he could see on the Force in one big batch.

“That’s a great idea!” Benny said. With his free arm he copied the gesture, finding all the little ones Ben missed. Together they walked them out to the shallows and set them in the water. Benny hiked up his pant legs and splashed in after them.

“If you come home drenched, your mom is going to kill me!” Ben said. “Again!”

“They’re swimming away!” Benny shouted, big grin. Then it faded. “Some aren’t. These, some of these little baby ones.” He poked at them. “They’re just floating.”

Ben pulled up his pant legs and followed Benny into the sea. He looked down and poked one of the tiny ones. “They dried out. We weren’t in time.”

“No!”

“I’m sorry Benny. It happens with these guys.”

“Can’t we do anything?”

Ben scratched his head. “Ehhhh…I don’t know, honestly.”

“What about Mom’s healing? You said you learned it from her.”

“Healing, not reviving. It’s not the same.” And the last time he brought someone back from the dead using his power alone, he ended up there himself. No offense to the _tonag_ population, but he wasn’t about to go that route again.

Benny grew silent. He scooped a tiny creature into his hand. “Sorry little _tonag_. I know how it feels when help comes too late.”

The last thing Ben needed in the universe was a reminder of his greatest failure. He swallowed and stilled the ache in his heart. “Maybe…we try anything, right?”

Benny looked at him. “Huh?”

“That’s what I did with you. I just…something deep inside me took over and knew exactly what to do. And you’re here now, so it had to have worked, right?”

Benny nodded. “Yeah.”

“Will you help me?”

“How?”

“I’m going to reach a state of oneness, and you use your Force to help me along. If it can be done, we’ll do it.”

The kid brightened. “Okay!”

Ben had no idea what to expect, but Benny already had his hands out, hovering over the floating creatures. The Force flooded through the boy on a level that started rivaling his own. Good. Ben opened himself, connecting with the sand, the sea, the creatures floating before him, the air, the planet, all the way until he expanded into the universe as one.

Hovering at the edge of his energy was the flow from his son, full of hope, gentleness, love, and compassion. Ben drew upon the healing Rey taught him: life bursting forth from the seed, flowerbud opening its petals to the sun, baby growing in her mother’s womb, her first newborn cries, tiny little life in his hands.

Ben’s heart opened to the exquisite joy of his newborn daughter, the miracle of watching life unfold before his eyes. That’s when he knew he hit the right wave of Force. There was no doubt in his mind.

He floated back down into himself and opened his eyes. Bright smile on his son’s face as little _tonags_ kicked their legs all around him. The boy looked up with his enormous grin, eyes thin crescents, pure joy on his face. Perhaps the creatures had only been near death, not completely gone all along, but this resuscitation opened up some new possibilities in their usage of the Force.

Leia had inspired him, but perhaps he was even tapping into the song of her Force as well. Yes, it made sense. Their daughter would take Rey’s healing abilities to new levels, just like Benny would probably take Ben’s…well, he hoped for the best in that regard.

Benny sprung forward and wrapped his arms around Ben’s waist. “Thanks, Dad! You did it. You really did it.”

Ben warmed, smiled, and hugged his son. “You, and your sister, you both inspire me to be a better version of myself.”

#

The _tonag_ incident seemed to finally warm Benny up to him. The kid was far more engaged now as they continued their walk, talking and asking questions, bouncing around climbing on rocks and flinging things on the Force. Maybe this did beat a day at Beachwalk.

Their stroll took them past some parkland and into a familiar area. Ben felt it, the pull, one he’d had before. “Let’s take a little detour,” he told his son.

The pull drew him to the memorials of his parents. Benny read the plaques. “In Memoriam, Leia Organa Solo, Princess and Senator of Alderaan, Legendary Hero of the Galactic Civil War and the Battle of Endor, General of the Resistance. In Memoriam, General Han Solo, Legendary Hero of the Galactic Civil War and the Battle of Endor.” He tilted his head up at Ben. “Kind of a sad way to end the day.”

“Eh, the Force wants what it wants, and apparently it wanted me to bring you here, see your grandparents.” He ran his tongue over his teeth, feeling an ache in his chest. Being back on Chandrila, thinking about the old days, visiting the old house, memories of a lifetime ago, another world.

“Do you miss them?”

Ben’s volume faltered. “All the time.”

“I know how grandpa died, but how did grandma die?”

“She…she gave everything she had to reach out to me with the Force when I was still Kylo, to try to get me to give up the path of darkness. Come home to the light. Come back to her love.” Ben’s lip quivered. “I thought I could never go home, never go back to her, that she could never want me back after what I’d done. So she gave her life to tell me that wasn’t true, that she did still love me, still want me. In the end, they…both died trying to save me from myself.” He pressed his lips together.

Benny ran his finger along Han’s plaque. “I wish I could have met them.”

Ben nodded, tears filling his eyes. “They would have loved you…so much…” They missed out, Ben missed out, and now Benny and Leia missed out, all because of him and his stupid, stupid choices.

His father would have had Benny working the controls of the Millennium Falcon already and would have held Leia until his arms fell off. His mom would have kissed Benny’s curls and taught him a swear word or two that would be kept just between them, and she would have been there from the moment little Leia was born, knowing exactly what to do and keeping everyone sane.

Ideas that held no more weight than dust blowing in the wind.

Ben shut his eyes and put his hand to his head, shaking as he wept for a long gone world he had destroyed, one he wished so desperately he could bring back.

He felt something touch his chest and opened his eyes to see Benny, his head leaning against Ben. It was so sweet, so purposeful, so kind and loving, to just connect with Ben like that in his time of need. Ben wrapped his arms around the boy and squished him to his chest, so grateful to have been given such a wonderful person to love—who really loved him in return, even if getting to know each other was still a little hard.

Ben sniffled hard and palmed the tears off his face. He hugged Benny against his chest again and tousled the boy’s hair while staring at the memorials. “This kid right here, Mom and Dad? This is a good kid. This is the kind of kid you guys deserved. He’ll be a hundred times the man I was, you’ll see. He’ll do you proud, so you can look down and say, ‘Not so sure about our Ben, but that Benny? He’s the one. He made it all worthwhile.’”

“Ah come on, I still have time to screw it all up!”

Ben laughed then shook his head. “Nah, not you. You’re something special. Got a big heart. Real big heart.”

“I don’t know,” Benny said, starting to head for home, “I think yours is pretty big too.”

Ben brushed off the rest of his tears. “Think so? How do you figure?”

“Because I’ve seen the things you do. Maybe you got lost for a few years, but grandma got you to come home, not to her, but to your heart, and now me and Leia get to have it, and so does the rest of the galaxy.”

Ben stopped in his tracks, awed by the kid’s wisdom and insight. He looked up at the sky, fresh tears in his eyes. “Mom, Dad, that right there is your legacy.” He nodded. “You guys did alright.” He nodded once more and trotted to catch up with his son.

#

Another late night, Leia fussy as always. This time she was adamant she wasn’t going down for bed without a fight. Ben sent Rey to bed and stayed up in the dark on the rocker in Leia’s (eventual) room.

When he was sure the rest of the house was quiet, he looked at his little squirm-monster. “Time to try a new tactic.” He nestled her just below his neck and sang. “In darkest times, in lonely times, I will be there. Throughout the day, throughout the night, you know I’ll be there. Can I be your hero? Let me be your hero.”

Leia’s little body grew still, mouth sucking contentedly on her fist. He paused between verses and felt her wriggle some more. “Yep, think that’s working.” He switched back to his deep baritone singing voice. “From this world, and to the next…”

“Look at that handsome daddy.”

Ben’s heart stopped. He looked up beside him to see his mother smiling down, bluish and translucent, lighting up the room. “Mom!” He shifted toward her. “I didn’t think you’d ever come.”

“Not see my granddaughter who bears my name? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Ben softened and cradled his squirming girl to give his mother a better view. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“Even prettier than the first time I saw her.”

Ben frowned. “First time?”

“When she was first born, while you were sleeping off the energy you used in that birth, I paid a visit to Rey and my—” She poked at baby Leia’s nose. “—cute little grandbaby.”

Ben’s heart sunk. “You came to Rey first and not me?”

“I wanted to give you some time to really get in the midst of fatherhood. I wanted you to experience the joys and turmoil first, so you can be in a place where we can truly meet eye to eye as adults. But know that I’ve always been here, always watching. Not so easy to do this. I’m not my brother, or you or Rey for that matter, or that Benny, my, does the Force flow in him.”

Ben nodded, smiling. “It does.”

“Got to watch out for that one, you know.”

“Yes…” Ben thought about it. “And no. He’s a lot like me, but he’s not like me in that way. He’s better, far better kid than I ever was.”

“Oh, you weren’t so bad when you were little.”

“I was a shithead.”

“Sometimes.” Leia laughed, and Ben joined her. “Benny has a lot of what you didn’t, especially someone right there knowing exactly what _he’ll_ go through.” She shrugged. “We didn’t always know the right thing, Ben. This is why I wanted to wait a little. I wanted you to see that it’s not always so easy, and you don’t always know the right thing to do, and even when you think you do, the game changes and you have to start all over. That’s the thing about parenthood, you try your best, but you never know how it’s going to turn out.”

Ben exhaled and pressed his lips together as a wave of emotion swept into his throat. “Mom, I’m so sorry—”

She put her hand on his face. “None of that. This isn’t the time, and I already know, and I already forgive you, so get that off your shoulders, huh?”

Ben swallowed and nodded.

“We’re here to celebrate this little lady right here.” She pinched at the baby’s toes.

Ben smiled. “You want to hold her?”

Leia gave him one of her soft smiles. “I’m not that strong in this state, I don’t want to—”

“I am.” Ben lifted little Leia on the Force and carried her over into his mother’s waiting arms. Bluish light surrounded the baby who finally stopped her endless fussing. Ben smiled. “There.”

Leia chuckled as she touched the baby’s cheek. “Oh look at her. She’s just precious.” She looked at Ben. “I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am to see this. My heart broke when I saw you give your life up, and I didn’t want to miss out on all that you could and would become. I’m glad Nara was able to help. She’s given me a gift I can’t ever begin to repay her for—your life, and the lives of my beautiful grandchildren.”

Ben nodded. “I’m glad too, for so many reasons.”

Leia kissed the little girl’s head and signaled Ben to take her back. Once the baby was on Ben’s chest, Leia rose. “I’m getting a little weak here, I should go.”

Ben looked her up and down. “I hate that you have to go. I…miss you so much.”

“I’m not far. I’m never far. Always with you, whether you like it or not.”

Ben grinned.

“You just do your best, love those kids all you can, and always keep your eye on them. You let them fall to another Snoke, and I’ll come kick your ass myself.”

Ben laughed, even as a tear slid down his cheek. “I won’t, I promise. These kids will have a bright future, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Good, and son?”

“Yeah, Mom?”

“Get some sleep, you look like hell.”

Ben laughed, sniffled, and nodded. “Okay. Love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, Ben. Dad sends his love, says he’s proud, as am I.”

Ben nodded, tears flowing now. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Her warm, pale light faded into the darkness. Ben felt terribly alone for a moment, then realized it was only a projection in his own mind. He’d never be alone. His mother would always be there, right beside him in every moment, even if he couldn’t always hear or feel her. Then again, he would see her every day now, reflected in the child in his arms.

He looked down, ready to try singing again when he realized his daughter’s eyes were closed, light little sleepy breaths. She had fallen asleep in her grandmother’s arms.

Ben stood, kissed her fluffy little head, and headed to his bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sure there are myriad birthing options in a galaxy with advanced technology, but I thought I'd go with an option I was a little more familiar with - waterbirth. I'm sure I could have also thrown in some tech that would have blocked Rey's pain, but I wanted to play with the dyad connection a little to some humorous results (poor Ben LOL!) 
> 
> This is my second Ben fatherhood story (this was was written after Haunted by the Past even though this one takes place before Haunted) and I just love exploring that aspect with him. I feel like it takes us deeper into his true self, his big heart, while he tries to resolve the remnants of his past while also dealing with a certain level of mundane reality. I also love playing with the dynamics with Finn since they have a respect/hate relationship but have to get along especially for Benny for whom they share equal parentage in far different styles. 
> 
> Rey is a little crazier and meaner than I'd normally depict her, but hormones are a nasty cocktail *looks innocent.* Plus I wanted Ben to have to deal with less than ideal situations with his soulmate/dyad, more room for growth which is always fun with him. And Poe? He's just Poe. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this short! If you've enjoyed it, please comment and let me know! If you'd like to read upcoming stories in this universe, subscribe to this this series by going to this link and hitting the Subscribe button: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1656109


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